Trying to get ahold of my intuition

The more I meditate, the more I wake up my intuition, and I see where I am blocked and what is going on easier. Sometimes I get distracted and do not meditate, and it gets all jammed up. 

My problem, like many other people, is that I have a hard time staying in my body. I get overwhelmed, and in order to protect myself, I leave my body. I got really good at living my daily life not really present. Many people have. But I am very sensitive. My nervous system is on high alert.

Is part of it PTSD? Who knows?

I have been in so much pain for days, that I had some crazy virus that is spreading through the house making everyone in pain, and I did not even know it. I was sick. I was. I wondered if it was a virus, but I figured it was my pain from all the things in my life manifest into some wild fibromialgia spurt. 

I meditated in my bed with my whole body in massive pain for days....and I went to work.

I did leave early the one day and went home and cried for hours.

I know my spirit guides help me. 

I am on a level where it would be helpful to have more of a relationship with them.

I just need to learn to...set boundaries?

Maybe the kiss is a metaphor. Maybe they are trying to tell me something. 

The concept of abraxas like combining the masculine and feminine into an ultimate energy comes to mind.

Maybe I need to get better at marrying my masculine and feminine side into one whole being.

I spose maybe I am just realizing another aspect of my shadow.

Maybe I should ask my guides why they always wanna kiss and touch me.